How Do I Look?
by King in Yellow
Summary: Husbands dread the question almost as much as "Does this make me look fat?" What if your significant other is a woman? Can the question be turned to your advantage? Set before Ron & Bonnie's wedding. Best Enemies universe.
1. How Do I Look?

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

NoDrogs created the twins, whose origin I've vastly altered in my stories.

**How Do I Look?**

Kim luxuriated under the covers. She had been on an extended mission and not gotten a good night's sleep while gone. She had arrived home late last night and gone almost straight to bed - after waking the twins to kiss them goodnight. She planned on spending a couple days at home before returning to Global Justice and the drudgery of having to file the report on the mission. Will Du could be a royal pain on mission reports, she was surprised he hadn't asked her to file the report before going on the mission.

The minor movement caused by Shego leaving the bed and the slight noise of the green woman's shower had raised Kim to a level of drowsy consciousness, but she had almost returned to deep sleep when Shego's voice demanded, "How do I look?"

"Huh," Kim mumbled.

"How do I look?"

"Le' me 'lone. I'm tired," Kim groaned.

"C'mon, I'm interning at the law office today, do I look professional?"

Kim threw the blanket off her face and stared, bleary-eyed, at Shego. Her partner was worth staring at. Her makeup perfect and every hair in place, Shego wore a dark green, silk blouse with a black tailored jacket and skirt. The high heels made her legs, sheathed in dark hose, look impossibly long. She turned slowly, then grinned at Kim, one hand resting on her hip. "How do I look?"

"Too sexy for the office," Kim groaned.

"Too sexy?" Shego pouted

"Skirt's too short." Kim got up on one elbow for a better look.

Shego frowned, "No it's not."

"You look like the wrong kind of professional woman."

Shego shook her head in disgust. "I'm heading for the office." She turned her back on Kim and swayed her hips back and forth a couple times, "And the skirt is not too short."

"Hold on," Kim demanded, pulling off the covers, "I've got an idea to make you look a little better. Shego turned back towards Kim. The redhead got out of bed, her over-sized pink Betty Boop t-shirt making an odd contrast with Shego's outfit.

"Yes?"

Kim quickly reached up and mussed Shego's carefully brushed hair.

"Kim! What are you doing!"

The younger woman stepped back and eyed her critically. "You needed a little casual element. You looked too perfect. Now you look slightly windblown."

"Any other fashion tips before I head to the office?" Shego asked coldly.

"Um, maybe another one." Kim grabbed Shego and gave her a hard, passionate kiss.

Shego seemed to resist Kim's lips, then began to surrender, after a few seconds the older woman pushed her away, "Kim! What are you doing? I need to get to the office."

The Global Justice agent grinned. "Lipstick slightly smeared, like you were making out before you got to the office. It really makes you look sexy."

"I don't want to look sexy. It's a law office."

"Okay, then how about a goodbye kiss before you go off to work? I haven't seen you in days."

Shego nodded and Kim pulled her close for a kiss even more passionate than the first. Shego struggled slightly, but didn't want to damage her clothes as Kim began to unbutton the green blouse.

"What are you doing?" Shego panted when she finally manage to pull away.

"You were buttoned up to the neck! You needed to undo the top button. Or maybe top two… or three… Let me see how it looks with four undone."

"Hey, I need to get to--"

Kim's lips cut off further words.

There was a knock on the door, and a little voice asked, "Mommy! Can we come in?"

Startled the two women broke their embrace. "No," Kim called too loudly, "Mommy and Eemah are… talking."

"Go ask Ron to make breakfast for you," Shego suggested.

The two women held their breath and waited for the sound of little feet on the stairs, although Kim took advantage of the imposed silence by trying to unhook Shego's bra while the pale woman was afraid to make much noise in fighting her off.

"Please, Kim," Shego begged as the redhead pulled her towards the bed, "I need to get in to the office."

Ron was in the kitchen, putting away the dishes from the dishwasher when the twins entered.

Kasy gave him a hug. "Daddy! What's for breakfast?"

"How do waffles and fresh blueberries sound?"

Sheki jumped up and down, squealing with joy.

"I'm going to take that as a good. Kasy, get the blueberries and buttermilk out of the 'fridge. Sheki, take out the waffle iron and plug it in."

Within minutes Ron poured on the batter for the first waffle and the girls began the terrible task of waiting until it finished cooking.

"Do you hafta marry Aunt Bonnie?" Kasy demanded.

"Yeah, who's gonna cook for us?" Sheki added. "Can you marry her and live here?"

"Eemah can cook. Sorry, Shek, but Bonnie and I want to be together the way your Mom and Eemah want to be together. And, speaking of them, one of you want to scamper upstairs and tell them I'm making waffles?"

"They said they were talking," Sheki told him.

"But it didn't sound like they were talking."

Ron put his lips together tightly and didn't say a word, simply wondering how Shego managed it. He and Shego had been watching television when Kim dragged herself home last night. He remembered how utterly exhausted Kim looked, and every word of his conversation with Shego.

_"She's going to sleep for a week," Ron had chuckled._

_Shego pouted, "She's been gone for days, I wanted some when she got home."_

_"Hold that thought, she's not going to be in the mood for days."_

_"I don't wait."_

_"No way," Ron had argued. "I know how stubborn she is. She won't agree to anything you suggest tomorrow."_

Ron wondered vaguely if whatever magic Shego had worked on Kim might work on Bonnie.

The original --The End-- Now it's not.


	2. Revenge Is Sweet

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

While this had been written as a one-shot reviewers gave me ideas for continuing it. Blame Twin-3 and Moonfire01 especially for this second chapter. (Also my OCD had made me stop it so abruptly that a couple people weren't sure about the punch line. I hope the minor rewrite of the first chapter makes it clear.)

**Revenge Is Sweet **

The twins' appetite for waffles finally being assuaged, Ron was just finishing his own when Kim entered the kitchen - grinning broadly.

"What's for breakfast," she demanded. "I'm _hungry_. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

"Let me plug the waffle iron back in. Where's Shego?"

Kim put her hand over her heart. "Shego is in a happier place… And when she comes down from there she'll probably get dressed and go to the office."

"The office?"

"Yeah, she was on her way to A.B. and D. when she got interrupted this morning… I should probably feel guilty for making her late, but it was too much fun… No, I should feel guilty. That wasn't fair of me."

"Uh, Kim? Shego wasn't going in to the office today."

"Yes she was."

"No, she's taking the girls to story hour at the library at nine. She was at the office yesterday morning."

"What?"

"Yeah. She's just there one morning a week while studying for the bar. She complained about having to take the girls to the library - said she hoped you'd be home and could do it. You haven't been here for a week and she said you needed more time with them… Man, how did she get you moving this morning? When you got in last night I thought you'd sleep for a day and a half."

Kim looked dumbfounded and Ron continued, "Yeah, she said she was hoping for a little, uh, 'quality time' with you, and you looked so wiped I figured no way."

"She played me?"

"Played you?"

"Tricked me, got me to… Darn! How could I fall for that?"

"Well, you sure seemed happy about it when you came in just now. What did she do? Think I can use it to get Bonnie in the mood some morning when she has a headache?"

"I don't think you'd look good in a short skirt and high heels," Kim said dryly, "Although Bonnie might take them off you just to keep anyone else from seeing you dressed like that."

"Hey, works for me," he grinned.

"Ron, don't tell Shego you just told me that."

"Told you what?"

"Told me anything!"

"Oh… Did I tell you I was making waffles for breakfast."

"Yes, you told me that."

"Good, 'cause I think yours is done. Should I put Shego's on?"

Kim nodded yes, and reached for the blueberries and margarine. She couldn't believe that she had fallen for Shego's subterfuge.

Several minutes later Shego entered smiling, "Smells great!"

The older woman was wearing dark slacks with a green knit top. "I thought you were going in to the office?" Kim reminded her.

"Oh, ah, well, I, ah, called and told them I wouldn't be in today I, um, forgot I had promised the girls I'd take them to the library for story hour. You want to do it? You haven't had any time with them in a week."

"We can both take them, I haven't had enough family time in days." Kim's brain was working feverishly, trying to think of a way to trick Shego like the older woman had tricked her.

As the twins joined the horde of children going in to story hour Kim asked, "So, do we each browse for the books we want and meet back here in half-an-hour?"

"We could," Shego winked, "or we borrow the key to the ladies room and sneak in for a quickie while they're gone. I've missed you, Pumpkin. This morning was great."

Kim sighed, "No, it wasn't. I wasn't fair to you. Your work is important to you, and I didn't respect it--"

"I'm not complaining."

"No, I wasn't fair. Remember when you took me off coffee for a month?"

Shego looked puzzled. "Yes," she answered hesitantly.

"I'm swearing off sex for a month."

"What!"

"I have to learn how to respect your work better. I must stop thinking of you as a sex object."

"But I--"

"Hush," Kim told her, putting a finger on Shego's lips. "I need to learn to respect you and your career choice."

Shego seemed puzzled and slightly subdued for the rest of the morning as she tried to figure out what was happening with Kim.

Shego had review in the afternoon and Kim stayed with the girls instead of dropping them off at daycare.

That night, half an hour after the girls' bedtime, Kim yawned loudly, "I'm going to bed."

"That's nice, dear," Shego answered, not looking up from her book. "Still tired from the mission?"

"Yeah, come up to bed with me."

"I'm not that tired."

"Come on, I like sleeping beside you."

Shego gave Kim a curious look, then followed her upstairs. As the green woman prepared for bed Kim began to rummage around in the back of the closet. "Princess? If you don't mind my asking, what in the hell are you doing?"

"Know what it's like to get an idea in your head, and you can't put it down until you've followed through on it?"

"No, but I've seen it in you, Bonnie, and two five-year olds who will remain nameless."

"I'm wondering if I can still fit in my wedding dress."

"You're tired from your mission, call me to bed early, and now you're looking for your wedding dress?"

"I didn't say it was rational, but it's what I'm doing."

Shego lay down on the bed and watched as Kim put on the dress.

"Darn, the garter didn't close right," Kim complained. "Will you do it for me?" she asked. Kim pulled up the dress and extending a hose clad leg to Shego. "Please?"

Kim shivered slightly in anticipation as Shego's warm hands ran softly up her leg, found the errant snap, and fastened the garter in place.

"There," the green woman told her, "all better. I don't know why you needed to put on the white underthings just to see if the dress still fits."

"It's a wedding dress, you have to do it right."

"Okay, okay. Oh, and it fits beautifully. How long until you come to bed?"

"What do you think of my resolution?"

"Which resolution?"

Kim looked slightly annoyed that Shego couldn't remember, "That I won't have sex with you for a month."

"Am I allowed to ask anyone else?"

"NO!"

"Then I'm terribly disappointed," the older woman said. "But you have to do what you think is right for you. And if you think that is the best thing for you I will respect your decision and wait patiently for you to regain control of your unbridled lusts."

Kim felt slightly irritated with Shego for missing the point and turned to the mirror to adjust her décolletage. She managed the maximum amount of cleavage possible before pretending to frown. "Shego?"

"Yes, Cupcake?"

Kim walked over and thrust herself in her partner's face, "Was I showing this much boobage at the wedding? This feels sort of scandalous."

"No, I'm pretty sure you weren't quite that much on public display."

Kim wiggled herself, or rather her chest, back and forth slightly. "Then, do you think I've grown?"

"No, probably just don't have it adjusted right. Let me help you. Shego very carefully adjusted the dress, putting the girls in their proper place. "I'll bet you had someone helping you the day of the wedding and didn't have to do it for yourself. Coming to bed soon?"

Kim couldn't believe it, she stamped her foot in exasperation, "You are the most irritating woman in the room!"

Shego assumed an innocent look, "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"You know, Pumpkin, if you want me to throw you on the bed and ravish you, you just need to ask and not go through the act."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kim pouted.

"I mean you could only be more obvious if you wore your cheerleader outfit and shook your pom-poms in my face."

"I'm not playing you!"

Shego raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"What makes you think I'm trying something?"

"Swearing off sex for a month this morning at the library - that waved a big red flag. Then tonight's costume play. I don't have a bride fetish, but you might have got me in a cheerleader outfit."

"Would have been too obvious," Kim chuckled.

"Oh, like asking me to adjust your garter was subtle."

"Fine, I'm obvious, but you tricked me this morning."

Shego grinned, "I'll give you a point for figuring that out."

"Um, give the point to Ron," Kim admitted grudgingly. "He told me."

"Then I'll give you a point for honesty."

"You still tricked me, that wasn't nice."

"Am I so terrible I can only get you to make love by tricking you? You enjoyed this morning as much as I did."

"Well… Yeah," Kim conceded.

"So, does it matter that I gotcha three times?"

"Three times? Once!"

"I got you this morning." Kim nodded her acknowledgment. "And I got 'yah right now when I ignored your attempt to seduce me."

"That doesn't count. And where's the third?"

Shego grabbed Kim's wrist and jerked the redhead on top of her, "Gotcha!" were her last words before her lips closed on Kim's.

--The End--


End file.
